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		Grab yourself a warm cuppa of tea, coffee or chai and click on the titles below to read Juliet's articles.    Scroll down to read your selected article... Enjoy...    Uncovering Your Soul's Purpose Absolutely THE MOST INCREDIBLE PARTY in the world - Burning Man 2008 Manifesting for Success CHANGE your MANTRA Maximise your Energy! 10 Instant STRESS Busters Beating the Stress Factor Work and Life Balance

Beating the Stress Factor

Stress is not real
 
Let me share something with you - there is NO SUCH THING as STRESS!

Yes, you heard me right (and no, I'm not off in la-la land on happy pills). Really - there is no such thing as stress.

There are events and situations that STRESS US (stressors). There are natural inbuilt fight or flight mechanisms which produce automated STRESS RESPONSES to those stressors, such as changes in breathing, heart rate, production of adrenalin and other chemical stress-related hormones. But there is no such thing as 'stress' itself.

Stress is in the EYE OF THE BEHOLDER
 
Why is it that two people can experience the same work situation, and whilst one might be completely okay with it, the other feels highly stressed? It depends on our mind-body programming and our past experiences, as to whether or not we find situations stressful.

As we travel through life, we encounter different situations and experiences that set in place our thought patterns, emotional responses and outlook on life. This is fine for all the good stuff in life. However, when we encounter unpleasant situations, it sets in place automated stress responses that can be re-triggered over and over again whenever we experience similar situations or circumstances later on in life.

Sometimes the triggers can be sensory, such as a sound, a smell, a tone of voice, or a look in someone's eye that triggers a stress response. Other times the associations are connected with the context of the situation such as financial issues, relationship problems, responsibilities and so on. However, these are all individual triggers, producing stress responses that are connected with past events in our individual history or 'herstory'.

Understanding our Stress Coping Mechanisms (SCM's)
 
Whilst all people have similar physical responses to situations perceived as being stressful, the ways in which we cope - our STRESS COPING MECHANISMS - are very individual. Often it is our stress coping mechanisms which actually worsen our own situations.

• At first you may feel a sense of shock if the news was unexpected. Then you would find that your heart starts to race and your breathing becomes shallow. What happens AFTER that - the way in which we cope - is very individual.
• One person might refuse to accept the decision, using denial as their stress coping mechanism. This prevents the person from taking any action or dealing with the reality that is facing them.
• Another person might come away filled with blame and aggression, talking loudly about their legal rights and claiming the situation to be an outrage. This might initially give the individual a surge of power, but the process of blaming keeps a person in a victim role and aggression rapidly drains our energy. Neither of which help the individual to move forward in life.
• A third person might crack a joke and use humour to relieve their stress response. This may help them in the short term, provided they are truthful within themself, acknowledging their own feelings and understanding of the situation.
• A fourth person may use inhibition to dampen their feelings about the situation, putting on a neutral face and keeping up their facade of control. This may help the individual to keep functioning, however, it requires a lot of energy to continue to internalise feelings. Eventually their body will begin to somatise their true feelings by way of health problems.
• A fifth person may race to the elevator with a pack of cigarettes in hand and head off to the nearest cafe or bar for a cup of coffee or quick hit of alcohol. 'Self medicating' in this way helps comfort in the short term, but adds to further problems in the long term.
• And yet another person may optimise and jump at the opportunity, seeing it as a sign they are needing to try something new. A positive approach such as this generates positive energy, keeps our mental energy uplifted and enables us to remain healthy and perform better. This is the positive, confident energy that the person really needs to face the changes they will be encountering and make the best impact at upcoming job interviews with future employers.

Our Stress Coping Mechanisms (SCMs) kick in so quickly, that we are often unaware of them. Within the workplace, where people are coming under a variety of different pressures and expectations, their automatic SCMs are constantly coming into play.

So when we work with people who are feeling stressed, we are actually dealing with their Stress Coping Mechanisms, rather than the clear-headed rational person we assume we are dealing with. In fact, we are not even dealing with the 'stressed person' any more, we are dealing with their personal historty and their most familiar coping mechanisms, as others are having to deal with our predominant stress coping mechanisms.

Creating BETTER RESPONSES
 
With over 16 different SCMs, there are some that serve us better than others. Of course, the way we THINK we are responding to stressful situations and the way in which other people actually PERCEIVE us to be responding can be two different things. If you find you are not getting the response you want or need from other people, then check your own responses to stress. You may be responding with OLD mind-body responses and negative patterns of response which are not helping you.

We all cope the best way we know how, but some stress coping mechanisms actually make our situation worse, rather than improving things. The good news is that we can LEARN NEW WAYS OF COPING that help take us forward in a positive direction, clearing our stress so we not only FEEL BETTER but can also be more productive when we need to most.

Getting to know your own stress response and coping mechanisms is the first step to help you create optimal patterns of response that transform your stress into POSITIVE ENERGY.

If you would like Juliet to show your work team how best to manage the problem of stress, CONTACT JULIET and she will be happy to help.